I am so excited to be alive!!! If everyone could understand what it feels like to feel dead, lifeless, immovable, unable, incapable… and then to be given life back!!! You would be so grateful for EVERYTHING that you are able to do, see, and be a part of!
The last 12 years were spent in sickness. It felt like I was dying over and over again. I’d gain my freedom, and something else would happen. 4 times stuck in a bed. 4 times fighting through issues. Trying to find out who I was when I couldn’t accomplish ANYTHING. Trying to find out what was wrong with me. Trying to figure out how to heal, so that my children wouldn’t have to go through what I have.
I learned to let people love me. It is not a weakness to ask for help. I learned that even though I couldn’t do it, God sent someone to help me; to love me. No, they weren’t perfect. But, neither am I.
I learned to love my husband, my caregiver, my friend (not my enemy.) The little spats didn’t matter. The messy house didn’t matter. Priorities went back where they belonged.
I learned to love my children instead of putting unrealistic expectations on them. I learned that we are all different and that it’s okay. Miscommunication can be worked through. Boundaries can be set.
I have learned to love myself. Those mistakes that I was so hard on myself for were learning steps. Thomas Edison tried 1,000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb. I have no idea how many times I tried before I could walk successfully the first time. We only fail when we give up. I don’t have to be perfect, but I can keep trying to be better one attempt at a time.
I learned that I didn’t need to have everything that I wanted in order to have joy. I learned to be thankful for the hardships, not a victim full of fear. There is something good in every day. There is something that I can learn in the pain.
God can use this for my good and the good of others. I have learned that I can still help others even lying in a bed. I can text encouragement, pray for others, and share what I have learned and overcome thus far even though I still have further to go.
I learned that God can work miracles even when we can’t see how. I learned to listen closely to His Spirit and to follow directions. I had never walked so close to God before.
I found the answers to heal on this journey, and I no longer have to worry about my children’s future. God wants me to use this information to help more than just my family, and I am excited to be living again!!!
Happy Birthday to me! I’m Free to be the person God created me to be!!!
Christmas Day, I received the final answer to my health puzzle. I said that HEALING, to me, means that I do not need meds and if I WANTED to, I COULD pursue any work I desired without worry about whether I could handle it.
January Changes:
Wk1-Celery Juice and lemon water
Wk2-beet/strawberry smoothie replacing cereal and magnet rings to sleep with
Wk3-blueberry/spinach smoothie adding to my meals and a commitment to stay away from cheese and wheat to heal.
Wk4-evaluating meds and supplements, lowered protein by half, and tried a couple of new recipes… You do NOT have to sacrifice taste to feel or get well!!!
I had 4 medications…
-I no longer need my asthma med.
-I do not need the extra herbs to sleep on top of meds and I’m actually sleeping!
-I’ve cut one anxiety med from a full pill daily down to a quarter (I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t need it. I won’t need it this week.)
-My steroid that keeps me standing has been cut in half and the doctor gave me the okay to get off of it, if I feel comfortable. It’s going this week.
-That leaves one anxiety medication.
This weekend, I went out with a friend for a few hours. The next day, went to a Women’s Conference for two half days and a night where I danced and stood to sing a few songs. Tomorrow, I’m driving to see my family at their church over an hour away. I’m not worried one bit. A little tired, but who wouldn’t be. I am healing!!!
My stomach feels cleaner, my ab muscles feel stronger, and I can think clearer.
Which opens up another calling for my future… a Health Coach. I have a few future callings (Promises) that God has been lining up for me while I’ve been seeking His answers for my healing.
But first, I want to get well, and stay there, and help my family, as well. This is going to be a GREAT Healing year for me!!
Just because you’ve been told that there is no cure, and that you’ll just have to learn to cope, does NOT make it so. There is an answer for every problem, and God answers prayers!!!
One of my favorite times of year is November around Thanksgiving when we think of all we’re grateful for. I like to state one thing I’m grateful for every day of the month. What starts out as something simple ends up being so many things for me. I love that it sets me in the mood for the whole Thanksgiving/Christmas season. I have found that it is much easier to be grateful when others around me are stating what they are thankful for.
In contrast, it is also very easy to be “misled” as 1 Corinthians 15:33 states. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” That being said, I have also noticed that when I am around people who are complaining constantly or are ungrateful, it is very easy to begin to pick out the faults of others. This causes uneasiness, frustration, and kicks love right out the door. It is so contagious that if I am grumpy and discontent, I can watch my whole household fall apart within minutes.
The Apostle Paul described our day to Timothy when he wrote that in the last days.“men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.” (2 Timothy ) These sins are fellow travelers, and ingratitude makes one susceptible to all of them. Here’s a fun poem I found that goes with what I’m trying to say…
The Grumble Family by Anonymous
There’s a family nobody likes to meet;
They live, it is said, on Complaining Street
In the city of Never-Are-Satisfied,
The River of Discontent beside.
They growl at that and they growl at this;
Whatever comes, there is something amiss;
And whether their station be high or humble,
They are all known by the name of Grumble.
The weather is always too hot or cold;
Summer and winter alike they scold.
Nothing goes right with the folks you meet
Down on that gloomy Complaining Street.
They growl at the rain and they growl at the sun;
In fact, their growling is never done.
And if everything pleased them, there isn’t a doubt
They’d growl that they’d nothing to grumble about!
But the queerest thing is that not one of the same
Can be brought to acknowledge his family name;
For never a Grumbler will own that he
Is connected with it at all, you see.
The worst thing is that if anyone stays
Among them too long, he will learn their ways;
And before he dreams of the terrible jumble
He’s adopted into the family of Grumble.
And so it were wisest to keep our feet
From wandering into Complaining Street;
And never to growl, whatever we do,
Lest we be mistaken for Grumblers, too.
If there’s one main thing that I have heard about the news or social media, it is how much complaining and negativity is out there. It can really bring a person down and makes one want to become a hermit.
In Matthew 5:14-16, we are called to bring others up. It says, “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
The verses before that call us the salt of the earth. We are the flavor. We can make this world interesting. In Deuteronomy and 1 Peter, God calls his people a “peculiar people.”We are to stand out in a good way because we are different. How can we be that light for others while trying not to be sucked in by negativity?
You cannot shine light that you do not have. If what is going on around us is “just adding to the noise,” we need to find a place of solace and spend time alone in prayer and scripture study. We need a time out.
And along that note, We need to remember that we will have moments where we will feel sadness, grief, anger, and frustration. Many label these emotions as bad and happiness, joy, and contentment as the only good ones. As the wife of a counselor, if you have this mindset, I am encouraged to have you watch the new movie “Inside Out.” Our emotions were given to us by Heavenly Father. Jesus felt those same emotions while on this earth. He was a man of many sorrows and it was recorded that He had taken a few time-outs with His Heavenly Father.
It’s okay to vent to someone that you trust to lead you back to Heavenly Father and His plan for you, who does not gossip, or mislead you. It’s even okay to be honest and say that you are not okay. In fact, not talking about it can cause worse problems.
Having gratitude does not mean that we do not feel sorrow. But it is the attitude in which we accept our circumstances or even in how we love others that determines our outcome.
I have a connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that affects everything in my body. I’ve had severe problems from it where I couldn’t get out of bed for months, severe allergies, severe pain, joints popping out of place, easy ruptures and skin tears, and recently extreme fatigue and dizziness. I cannot say in all truthfulness that I am grateful to have a mutation that not only affects me, but others around me including my children who have inherited it. I have had days where I have been frustrated, angry at my inabilities, and mourned better days. And yet, I have hope.
#1) We all have bad days, but I am grateful that this life isn’t it. Jesus, after talking about his crucifixion, promises in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
#2) I am grateful for good days. If we didn’t taste the bitter, we would not know the sweet.
#3) I am grateful that I can receive comfort from the Spirit and the Scriptures of those who have gone before me.
#4) I have also been blessed with wonderful friends who listen, encourage, pray for, help, and inspire me. It would be boring if we didn’t have problems to help each other with
#5) I can pray for answers, seek for them, and He will answer me. I have learned so much from every trial that I have gone through. I am very grateful for that knowledge.
I cling to the scripture Romans 8:28. No matter what, I know God can work it out for good. The Apostle Paul was often in bonds and imprisoned, but in all, he learned to be content and make the best of it.
I have been blessed immeasurably by being grateful. I used to be a suicidal, masochistic, and extremely depressed person, with anxiety that hurt my stomach internally. I have fought so hard to concentrate on God’s Word, His Promises, and on being grateful for those encouraging words. This mindset of being grateful has also helped me to WANT to feel better physically. It has given me the encouragement that I needed to Press On.
I also feel, that I have been blessed physically with so many material things given to me that I did not necessarily ask for, but have made me feel even more blessed. I am blessed with family and friends that I know for a fact would not want to be around me if I were the person I used to be. I am overwhelmed with blessings.
In conclusion, I would like to reiterate 5 points about Gratitude
God commands us to be grateful for our benefit.
Complaining is the opposite of faith and trust in God. Complaining shows our ungrateful heart.
However, We all need a time of grieving, a need to vent to the right person, and even a need to be set straight.
We can have a continual attitude of gratitude and ask, “What can I learn from this circumstance to be more like Jesus?”
God wants to bless us more when we are grateful for what we have and Trust Him for what we don’t.
I’m thankful for an amazing mother who not only listens to me when I need to vent, but gives me another perspective and leads me back to becoming more like my Savior with a grateful heart. If you don’t have someone that can do that for you, please pray to find that person. I know God wants that for you, as well. We were not meant to be alone. I’m grateful that I have listened to the Spirit and focused on being grateful for the little things in my marriage, and that because of all the counseling that we experienced the first 10 years of our marriage, my husband felt compelled to counsel others as the Savior would… and how amazing that is! I’m grateful for my beautiful family and for the chance to go through this life together learning to love, understand, and encourage each other. And I know I said this before, but I’m grateful for my Heavenly Father who is always there for me and my wonderful Savior who led the way by example, so that I can be more like Him which isn’t easy, but so worth it.
Journey back to Eden 