Tag Archive | Worth

Happy Birthday to me!!!! 

I am so excited to be alive!!! If everyone could understand what it feels like to feel dead, lifeless, immovable, unable, incapable… and then to be given life back!!! You would be so grateful for EVERYTHING that you are able to do, see, and be a part of! 

 

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The last 12 years were spent in sickness. It felt like I was dying over and over again. I’d gain my freedom, and something else would happen. 4 times stuck in a bed. 4 times fighting through issues. Trying to find out who I was when I couldn’t accomplish ANYTHING. Trying to find out what was wrong with me. Trying to figure out how to heal, so that my children wouldn’t have to go through what I have.  

 

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I learned to let people love me. It is not a weakness to ask for help. I learned that even though I couldn’t do it, God sent someone to help me; to love me. No, they weren’t perfect. But, neither am I. 

 

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I learned to love my husband, my caregiver, my friend (not my enemy.) The little spats didn’t matter. The messy house didn’t matter. Priorities went back where they belonged. 

 

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I learned to love my children instead of putting unrealistic expectations on them. I learned that we are all different and that it’s okay. Miscommunication can be worked through. Boundaries can be set. 

 

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I have learned to love myself. Those mistakes that I was so hard on myself for were learning steps. Thomas Edison tried 1,000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb. I have no idea how many times I tried before I could walk successfully the first time. We only fail when we give up. I don’t have to be perfect, but I can keep trying to be better one attempt at a time. 

 

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I learned that I didn’t need to have everything that I wanted in order to have joy. I learned to be thankful for the hardships, not a victim full of fear. There is something good in every day. There is something that I can learn in the pain. 

 

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God can use this for my good and the good of others. I have learned that I can still help others even lying in a bed. I can text encouragement, pray for others, and share what I have learned and overcome thus far even though I still have further to go. 

 

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I learned that God can work miracles even when we can’t see how. I learned to listen closely to His Spirit and to follow directions. I had never walked so close to God before. 

 

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I found the answers to heal on this journey, and I no longer have to worry about my children’s future. God wants me to use this information to help more than just my family, and I am excited to be living again!!!

 

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Happy Birthday to me!
I’m Free to be the person God created me to be!!!

 

 

Crowned with Compassion

Today, I did not use valet parking for my trip to the doctor. That’s right. I parked my own car and walked the distance in without being supported by the wall. It felt so good. Granted, I’m tired, now, but it was so worth it.

This new progressive change is due in part to cutting out activities outside the home, so I could focus on healing, and my chiropractor’s care. 

 

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I still struggle with not feeling enough because of all that I cannot accomplish.  The hardest times for me right now are:

-Getting up after sitting a long time (movie theater/church,)

-Remembering that I still have limits (I so want to do EVERYTHING, but then am exhausted for a couple days after,)

-Standing still for 5min or more,

-Doing anything that heightens stress or nerves (the nervous system messes with a normal person’s autonomic function let alone someone with Dysautonomia.)

But, I realize that my worth is not in my accomplishments, and that I need to keep repeating that to myself.

 

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My youngest daughter  was doing really well at her chores, so I thought I would ask her to do a little more. She put away her clean clothes in her basket, but I also asked her to take care of her hanging up clothes. (She usually cannot be alone or she gets into trouble.)

 

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Her sister and brother were doing their homework in her room with earphones on. When she walked in the second time, they became irritated and yelled at her to get out. She tried to defend herself and ended up crying all the way down the stairs. She tried to tell me through sobs and I told her that I heard the whole thing.

 

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I reminded her that many times, she has not been trustworthy, so they just did not trust her. I asked her if she wanted a hug. She pouted, “yes.” I hugged her, rocked her, and told her that she was loved. I love her and God loves her even if other people are not loving.

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Then I put her hand over her heart and told her to say, “I love myself.” I asked her three times, but she refused. She then said, “I like saying I love other people.” I agreed that it was easier to love other people. I reminded her that she was worth loving, she was important, and that even if nobody else showed her love, that she could. I asked her again to say, “I love myself.” Finally, she did and I got her to laugh and say it again. I also reminded her that if people don’t treat her right, that it’s okay to walk away instead of argue and defend. But that she also needed to continue to work on making good choices, so that she could be trusted.

 

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And after I delivered this message to my sweet 5yr old, I realized that I might as well be saying that to myself.  Thank you, God, for the reminder that I am lovable because I am Your Child even though I am imperfect and don’t meet even my own expectations. 

 

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Dressing Your Truth

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I was sitting there in my pajamas, feeling exhausted and sick from Chronic Pain and Fatigue, and scrolling the computer for answers. The program “Dressing Your Truth” appeared in an ad on the side. At first, I rolled my eyes thinking, “Ugh. Dressing better isn’t going to make me feel better.”

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But, as I thought more about it, I began to see some logic, “If I dressed better, maybe I wouldn’t have to look sick. I hate negative attention. Dressing in my pajamas is not making me feel any better. I don’t want people coming over to see me like this even if they do want to help. Maybe it’ll at least give me something else to concentrate on.” At the time, there was a deal for $99 instead of $299, so I decided to go for it. I know, I know… I could have wasted $100! But I felt at the time that I needed to do something drastic. Now, I feel this program is worth much more to me than that.

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Dressing Your Truth is more than a materialistic fashion program. It is an “energy profiling” program. It’s matching up your colors, textures, and designs to your energy. It’s learning to appreciate and be who you are instead of trying to be like everyone else. I have always loved learning about personalities, and learning about “energy profiling” was not much different, except that it was more.

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I figured out which “energy” I was, took my time watching other DYT videos before finalizing… and then I hit the wrong button. Oh no! I’d asked for the Type 1 program! (I thought I’d get to check out each program before deciding. It was a final button there.) I tried to immediately fix my mistake, worried about it until my things came in the mail, (totally a Type 2 thing), hurried and sent the cards back, and read the book in two days. While waiting for my Type 2 cards, I watched every DYT video that I could watch; sometimes going back and forth between 4 videos at a time while researching more. (a reference to my secondary energy type)

Type 2 slower energy

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with beautiful still moments to reflect.

As I began to test out trying to be a Type 2, I began to try to get up and clean, then rest. My husband came home one day shocked at how much I’d accomplished. I was thinking, “Are you kidding? Do you know how much I rested today?” But I took the compliment and tried it out the rest of the week. My husband said he thought I was getting better. I began to think, “There’s something to this energy profiling thing.”

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I was mesmerized at all the information that I was learning! I wanted to figure out everyone else around me, too! I had only one problem. I couldn’t figure out my Secondary. I thought it was probably a Type 3 because of how much I loved to accomplish things around the house…. when I was well. Or how I could be pushy with the kids to actively get done like Jillian Michaels. I tried to figure out the facial profiling, but didn’t get it. I reread the book many times and it wasn’t until I started watching the DYT Dominant/Secondary videos for what they were saying instead of what they were wearing that it began to make sense. (they just updated the program to include more videos, as well) I was not a 2/3. I am a 2/1. And the rush of emotions and realizations began to hit me hard!

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My father made fun of “blondes” and asked me if I was a blonde all the time. He called me, ‘naïve,’ ‘ditzy,’ and I was constantly losing things. I was asked many times mockingly, “If your head wasn’t attached would you lose it?” And all of this came flooding back with tears. I was an angry little girl all the time because I did not feel I could be me. I began looking at facial profiling again and saw my smile; the smile that stayed even when I was crying. I looked at pictures of my family and saw my mother and husband also have my smile. My mother had Type 1 energy! That was the encouraging positive outlook that I admired about her and always wanted to be. (Woah, wait a minute! I really did marry my mother!) My father was a 2/4 (both lower energies.) I was not. I pushed myself hard because I felt unworthy of love if I didn’t accomplish enough to be noticed/perfect; still looking for my father’s approval. As a Type 2/1, I was killing myself trying to be something that I wasn’t!

Others began to notice the way I dressed. I was dressing in soft, muted colors… I loved the way it all felt on my skin. My clothes no longer hurt to wear them. And I loved how elegant I felt. I bagged up everything in my closet that was not soft. I told my Type 4 mother that I was no longer wearing black and she was very distraught over me undoing what she’d taught me in that area. (Type 4’s look great in black. I’d just followed what I was taught.)  My clothes no longer hurt to wear.

I was excited to actually be the person I was created to be. I realized that by pushing my family the way I had been pushed, it was causing me anxiety and stress. I purchased the Child Whisperer and began to learn about each of my kids and how I could allow them the freedom that I was allowing myself to finally experience. One main difference between learning about the personalities through other programs or books and energy profiling is that most give you positive and negative attributes. Carol Tuttle’s programs teach you how to see the positive instead of the negative in each other’s attributes. She also gives plenty of insight into what to say to encourage each other instead of shut each other down with misunderstandings. What one may see as naïve, forgetful, and ditzy, another may see it as hopeful, playful, fun, and light. If we all learned to appreciate and understand each other’s differences instead of criticize what we don’t understand, we’d have a lot less angry and stressed out people.

I feel that through the Dressing Your Truth program, I gained the encouragement I needed to look for more answers to heal, more than just emotional, and to apply those answers to get well. It’s not about fashion, it’s about being me and loving that person. It’s about allowing others to be who they were created to be and appreciating them. It’s about more love and less stress and judgment. It’s about healing.



Other Related Articles:

10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

The Child Whisperer