Tag Archive | Love

Feel Your Emotions

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November, over year ago, I first experienced Fibromyalgia. I had a confrontation with someone at Bible Study and I didn’t feel like I had a voice in the situation. I was angry and became depressed. Within the week, I had insomnia and pain up my spine and over my shoulders so bad that no one could touch me. It was not only hard to experience those physical pains, but one of my main Love Languages is touch which left me feeling lonely.

 

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I worked with a friend of mine to find the best essential oils for me to help heal the inflammation. Within a month, I was able to get the pain gone.

 

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Doing the Dressing Your Truth program began to teach me that I am lovable and created beautiful in my own type. I began to be excited to be me and tell others what I had learned.

 

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In the process, I had friends that were angry with me for doing so. I began to notice a pattern in these confrontations and I would feel the pain severely again. Some of it was that I would turn to my sugar addiction and my body is already out of balance with bad bacteria causing Leaky Gut. Part of it is that I would revert right back to “Somebody doesn’t like me, I’m not good enough” thinking. I realized after the last time, that I’d had enough of taking my anger out on me.

 

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I began to go to counseling to learn to deal with my anger in a healthy way. And here I’ve been learning to set boundaries in my relationships, to be more patient with myself, and to use my voice.

 

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One of the things that my counselor has been reiterating is that emotions don’t last very long. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions, it turns into suffering.

 

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I used to stop myself from crying because it wasn’t a “positive” emotion. I felt that it was incorrect to be angry or to cry. I would still be angry, I just wouldn’t express it. Pretending that the feeling wasn’t there didn’t make it go away. My anger would then last for a few days, then I would get depressed for a few days thinking that it was my fault that I was feeling angry and it was wrong. Then would find a way to move on.

 

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But this weekend, my husband and I went out to eat at a buffet. Going out to eat is hard for me because so many things can knock me back down again. I got a lot of meat and found a few veggies that were not covered in sauces. My husband sits down with carbs. I looked at his plate and said, “I miss that.” He said that a little bit would probably not hurt me, but in this healing stage, I need to stay away from it. I also know that I wouldn’t stop with a little bit because I fear I may never have it again and go overboard.

 

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And I began to cry. This time, I didn’t stop it. I cried because of grief over the loss of my favorite foods. I cried because it wasn’t fair. I cried because I caused this damage to my body. I cried because I don’t know how long it will take to heal.

 

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And after a couple minutes of crying over my food, it was over. I took a deep breath and felt great! I didn’t not mourn for the rest of the day. I did not mope about it for the next week. I wasn’t angry with myself, depressed about it, nor did I feel the Fibromyalgia pain. I’m so excited that I’m learning!!! I’m getting it!!! It’s one thing to know what is wrong with you, or have the answer of how to get better, but accomplishing that task is so rewarding!!

 

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I know that without my vitamins and supplements right now, I would still and have crashed. I know that diet changes and exercise are crucial and I don’t have it down, yet! I know that I need to be especially careful around hormone changes. I know that what works for me, may not work for everyone, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t answers for you. I know that addressing whatever caused the problem may not be the only way to heal. Because all parts of the body work together, one thing can affect all the other. By praying, hoping, being willing to seek and find answers, and paying attention to my body, I was able to see the connection for me. I am excited that I am practicing feeling my emotions, learning how to voice them, that it is okay to do so, and that I’m getting this part!!! I am healing!

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Other Related Articles:

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

Climbing Out of the Canyon

Faith and Encouragement

Get Over It!

I Deserve to Be Loved

I Don’t Need Your Approval

Recovering Perfectionist Here

This Amazing Journey

 

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I Have a Choice

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Recently, I’ve been becoming more aware of what I am thinking. I had already noticed a couple of months ago how my Fibromyalgia would flare up when I was angry. I began to be aware of how much throughout the day that I really am angry and how I deal with it. And just to clarify, anger is not bad. It tells me that something is wrong.

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Most of the time, I have dealt with the anger through calming down with one of my “comforts” or things that make me feel safe and then dealing with the situation in a good manner. But I become overwhelmed when something from outside my home demands attention.

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So, becoming more aware of my thoughts is helping me to understand that it isn’t that I become angry, it’s that I am overwhelmed. My personal boundary has been crossed. I am taking on too much and am overwhelmed. Then, the anger tells me that something is wrong. But is it really outside influences that I am taking on too much? Is it too much inside the house?

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I have realized how often in the day I say the word, “should.” “I should get my vitamins.” “I should take care of that.” “I should get dinner on.” “I should clean that… fix that… handle that.” “I should have done that.” The real culprit, for me being overwhelmed, is me. I am putting so many expectations on myself.

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I’ve begun to change the way I speak internally to myself. I speak out loud to contradict my thinking, “I COULD do that.” I notice a change right away in my posture. I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I am in control of what I want to accomplish. I have a choice.

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I am not to be controlled by everything around me. I don’t need to allow other things that kind of power over me. I can choose what I’d like to do everyday. I can help my children, teach them, help them to get along, speak nice to them, pray with them, or hug them. I don’t HAVE to. I can choose to when I feel it is right for me. I can choose to take care of myself in exercise, eating well, taking my vitamins, and not adding too much on myself. I don’t HAVE to, but I can choose to when I’m ready. I don’t have to do extra things outside of my home including church, grocery shopping, hanging out with friends, doctor appointments, etc. I can choose to do so when it is right for me.

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And in doing this, I am finding it easier to not just love myself better, but others around me. I have been choosing to be critical of myself and others in the past without being aware that I was doing so. I am learning to be more patient with myself and others around me by changing my thoughts. You can do this to, if you choose. You don’t HAVE to.

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For more articles like this one:

Faith and Encouragement

Get Over It!

I Deserve to Be Loved

I Don’t Need Your Approval

Metamorphosis

Setting Boundaries Under Pressure

 

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Setting Boundaries Under Pressure

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Recently, I have gotten into conflict in my relationships because I have made decisions very quickly. I didn’t want to give a quick response, but I felt pushed. The phone rings and that person wants to know what time I can take care of something. They want an answer right now. I’m in the middle of helping one of my children and they are frustrated that I’m on the phone when I was helping them. In giving an answer at this frustrating time, I am setting myself up for failure. What I really need is time to think. People are not going to just give me time, I need to make the time. I need to set Boundaries.

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  • I do not have to answer the phone when I am busy.

It is so tempting to answer the phone just because it rings. It’s like the phone is saying, “Hey! I have something important to say! Answer me now!” So, by answering it, am I saying that what that person wants is more important than what I am doing? Sometimes, it’s not a big deal to answer the phone. It’s sometimes really nice. But other times, it can be an inconvenience. I have turned my phone on a ring-tone that is calming to help me remember that it’s not an emergency. Other times, I have turned it off.

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  • I do not have to give an answer right away. It’s okay to take time to think about it.

If they don’t leave a message, is it really that important? Something my mom instilled in me when I was little is that if they didn’t leave a message, it must not be that important. In this day and age, if you don’t want to leave a voice message, you can text it. This ensures that you get the message and can get back when it’s convenient.

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  • If this person continues to push for an answer right now, I can just say no.

If this person demands your attention right away all the time and ignoring or even turning off your phone is not working, it’s best to just say no. It is disrespectful and eventually toxic for you to have to continually ask for respect on the same issue.

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Now this process is helpful even outside of a phone. If I need to take time to process something, even for just a moment, I can take that time. I can be direct and honest. I can simply say, “I need to think about that and I’ll get back to you.” I am also realizing that it is okay to say, “I don’t know.” “I don’t have the answer right now.” And if that is not accepted and I am pushed beyond my boundary, I can just say “No, thank you.”

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For more information on Boundaries, see the series by Dr. John Townsend

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For more articles like this one:

Discipline vs. Punishment

The Child Whisperer

The Color Code

The Five Love Languages

 

Get Over It!

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Sitting in church not too long ago, we were talking about how we could be more like Jesus. One of the ladies put her hand up and stated, “I just think we need to get over ourselves and love people. I tell my daughter that she just needs to buck up and stop taking things so personally. Cheer up and Move on! That’s what Jesus did.” This last week, I heard something similar from a gentleman, “Grow a thicker skin and a thinner heart.” I would like to address the lies and harm done in these statements.

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  1. Jesus was a man of many sorrows. (Isaiah 53) He felt pain and loved deeply at the same time. He didn’t have a “thicker skin” as to assume that pain bounced off of him or didn’t affect him. He bore his sorrow. We are also called to carry our own cross. (Matthew 16:24) Carrying our own cross is a tough thing. It’s not something we shrug off. To those of us that you might say, “Cheer up and Move On,” I might ask you to provide a little more understanding and compassion. Jesus understood our sorrows because he experienced them. We can provide empathy for those who are having a hard time and be there for them. In doing so, we give them hope, a smile, and a reason to move on: we show them Jesus.

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2. For some reason, we have it stuck in our heads that we have GOOD and BAD emotions. Anger, Frustration, Sorrow  VS. Joy, Happiness, Excitement. God made ALL of our emotions. Understand what our emotions are for and allow them to be expressed.

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Anger, Frustration, and Being Upset are all red flags to our system that something is wrong. Just like Pain in our body, we need to stop and address that pain. When we ignore it and push through it, we can cause major damage. Anyone who has had a knee or back injury understands the danger in that statement. Take a time-out, Rest, or Get away from the person who stirs up these feelings inside you. In a healthy way, express your anger or pain where you will not hurt anyone. Don’t go out and yell at the world hurting everyone in the process. Write your anger in a journal, Shout into a pillow. Talk to a friend that you trust not to gossip, but to encourage you. Think it through and realize what you’re really angry or upset aboutProcess the best way to confront the issue in a kind, loving way. If you cannot do that at that moment remember to come back to the issue soon or it will grow. And ALWAYS pray through it. It is through these issues in our lives that we can grow OR create more problems.

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I remember grieving over my first daughter who I miscarried at 16wks. So many people wanted me to hurry to get through the grief. “You’ll have another one.” “You’re still young.”  After a few months, even my own grandmother told me to “Get over it, already.” I was still grieving long after my son was born. Comments like those did not help me in my grieving process, in fact, it made me feel more alone than ever.

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We NEED to express our emotion. We need to go THROUGH the emotions similar to a grieving process if we are ever to heal. By stuffing them inside or claiming that they do not exist, we are making the emotion a bigger problem. It will be expressed one way or another. Sometimes, it comes out internally as mine did in Fybromyalgia or suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it comes out as explosions, sarcasm, or even apathy. Some revert to addictions. Not expressing these emotions that are tough to understand, causes us not to want to feel anything. How can you feel love if you do not feel sorrow? I know, for me, I can cry and laugh at the same time sometimes for the same reason. “My baby is growing up.”

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If we cannot feel, we cannot “mourn with those that mourn.” (Romans 12:15) We cannot have compassion on ANYONE. So, what’s the point of being together on this earth, if we do not care about each other? (1 John 4:7)  By NOT feeling our emotions, we cause Bitterness, Resentment, and Hatred towards others. This is not what God wants for us.

 

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3. We are all different personalities. Some of us can work through our emotions super fast, while others of us need to take our time and work through things a little longer. I know from experience that if someone pushes me to get through something faster, I will dig my heels in because I literally cannot process things when I am pushed. With these different ways of dealing with things also comes different amazing talents and gifts. We do not need to be like each other. We need to become the gifts that God created us to be and stop judging others for not being like US. Learn about different kinds of people and have understanding and appreciation for the different types. God made all of us to be different and to help each other. (1 Corinthians 12)

 

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Instead of saying, “Get Over It”  Let’s understand that we all have pain, have compassion for those that are currently experiencing it, allow ourselves and others to feel, express, and go through pain, be there for them who are going through it, and understand that there is no time limit on going through pain. We can be gifts to each other instead of robots. (expressionless mechanical actors) You cannot be both.

 

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Other Related Articles:

Gratitude

Faith and Encouragement

Letting God Take Care of Me

Recovering Perfectionist Here




I Don’t Need Your Approval

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It wasn’t but a year ago that I began this blog. It came out of my desire to remember what I was learning about how to heal from the symptoms of EDS, the desire to pass on information to my kids, and hopefully help others along the way.

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Earlier in the summer, I had attended my first EDS support group and learned many things. I had pain in my hands and  other joints which they affirmed was Chronic Pain.

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And then… something happened at a place where I felt safe… a church meeting. I was told to sit in the back so I could be easily gotten in case of emergency for my Mast Cell son. There was no discussion. I felt singled out. We had already come up with an emergency plan and this wasn’t it. I was so angry, shocked, and humiliated. I balled in the bathroom and was sought out by the person in charge. She didn’t seem to want to listen, but to inform me that her plan was best. At that moment, I could have walked out and never come back. I was ready to.

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A leader there convinced me to wait it out. She prayed with me and listened to me complain. She agreed that it was not the best way to handle things. Another friend did the same thing. My husband wanted to defend me. He made me laugh by saying that they should be rolling out the red carpet for me and having me sit in the front row instead of the back because of how amazing I was.

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I personally experienced stages of grief. And the nerve pain began. Tingling pain from the bottom of my spine all the way up and over my shoulders. Nobody could touch me. My mind became as if in a fog. I was extremely tired, but I couldn’t sleep.

I watched videos on Chronic Pain trying to figure out what to do. I contacted my friend who’d taught me about essential oils and she gave me different samples and suggested Fibromyalgia. I went to my doctor and he made an appointment with several specialists and tests. The tests came back negative. (which I was used to all my life.) One specialist suggested pain reliever or birth control. One was an occupational therapist for the pain in my hands. The other I needed to wait for. So, I set up a blog. And while waiting, I prayed, researched, tested, and when completely confident, posted.

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I had talked to the person in charge at church, told them a little of what was going on in my life, and how hard it was for me to take what had happened. She apologized and has become my biggest advocate there. I had gotten the Fibro pain down within one month with essential oils. I researched diet changes to prevent further problems. When I had finally gotten in to see Dr. Collins, she backed up the information I had gained and added supplements. I had continued therapy exercises to strengthen my hands, as well as, core body strength. I had begun the Dressing Your Truth program and not only felt better in the right texture of clothing and more confident, but I began to understand myself emotionally. My first specialist was ecstatic. I was so excited to share what was working for me with others.

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Since then, over the last year, I have had people who I thought were close friends and family write angry letters and completely turn their backs on me and my family. Each time, I went through a grieving type process. Each time, I have gotten better at handling it, however, I feel the fibro pain begin at the top of my spine threatening to flare up and I know I’m not there,yet.

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But when praying about it this last time, it hit me. I have an Approval Addiction. This need for approval has caused me to become a victim in each circumstance. And when I was rejected, I would turn to another addiction: sugar cravings, facebook, spending addiction, or in the past, anorexia. I was doing this all subconsciously, but I have been doing it for most of my life.

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So, I’m ready to heal another part of my life. I’m ready to take care of myself. I have felt God’s amazing love for me, but it’s okay to love myself AND to not be loved by everyone.

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I don’t need your approval to be the beautiful person that God created me to be. I don’t need you to love me to take care of myself. I don’t need to fall prey to your manipulation and I don’t need to victimize myself. I can call it what it is, stand on my own two feet, and know that I am loved whether you love me or not.



Other Related Articles:

Climbing out of the Canyon

I Deserve to be Loved

Metamorphosis

This Amazing Journey



10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

TripodGirl_funny_face1024Type 1 is my Secondary Energy Type. I realized that after Facial Profiling myself because I was so confused trying to figure it out. In the past, I had subconsciously tried NOT to be myself because I felt that it was wrong. After I realized that Type 1 was my Secondary, I thought back to my childhood to see if this type was true for me. I remember being laughed at by my dad and called “naive,” “forgetful,” and “blonde.” These were not honoring to me, so I chose to try my hardest to be different. I also began thinking the same of other Type 1’s. Now, I’m so excited to be me! Here are some more things that I’ve learned from my Type 1 Son after reading the Child Whisperer.

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1.Type 1’s are High-Energy. My Type 1 son is usually found jumping off numerous things, climbing up walls, and racing around the house with a BIG smile on his face. Most people say that this is normal “boy behavior.” Honestly, my Type 4 son was NOT this way. Some people classify this as ADHD behavior, but I have learned, now, that it is an amazing way that this sweet, crazy, fun boy of mine was made. I am so grateful to see my son as “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” (Psalm 139:14) instead of another problem to deal with.

 

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2.If it’s not Fun, what’s the point?!  I had been having a hard time trying to get my Type 1 to do school or chores. After learning that it just might be high energy and stopped comparing him to other kids or what I thought he should be, I began to get through to him more. Yes, I do still expect him to respect the place and time to be crazy fun, but I respect him, also for the way he is. It wasn’t just that he needed to MOVE more, it’s that he didn’t feel it was fun or even as fun as something else he could be doing.

Because I Homeschool, I was able to have a little more freedom to experiment. I started finding ways to make school fun; I would have him take a break when he felt frustrated and do something else: “Finish this line” or “Finish this page and you can…” climb up the wall, dance in a circle, give a high five, or make a silly face. Within the first couple of weeks of doing this, my son began to cling to me. I realized, that he felt understood by me and it made me happy and sad at the same time. He didn’t feel understood by anybody else. He also began to recite more of what he had learned in school with me and I was shocked.

Then I put up a list of “Making Chores Fun” around the house. I began teaching the older kids in the house how to get my Type 1 to do chores with them. I changed our bedtime routine to race each other up the stairs before the tickle monster came. Before the Child Whisperer, my Type 1 and Type 4 sons clashed constantly. Now, they are understanding each other better, and MOST of the time allowing each other to be who they are. I occasionally still take them aside to remind them that they are different and that’s okay.

 

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3.Type 1’s are Random.  For Type 1’s it’s very easy to become distracted. I have often laughed at myself and others for forgetting things. I have realized that sometimes, it just goes with being Type 1 and to laugh about it. Other times, I realize that Type 1’s need and crave spontaneous behavior and randomness. Strict schedules are helpful, but can be too restrictive.

We have a set time for school in the morning. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to try and get my Type 1 to focus. I’ve realized that sometimes it’s not about making it fun, but changing it up a bit. Just switching to a different book when overwhelmed can be a big relief. Other times, I use what is distracting my Type 1 son to focus. “When you finish this line, you can play with your doll” “…..put your head inside your shirt.” “….sing that song you want to sing.” whatever he is getting distracted by in the moment.

Also, Surprises are the best way of showing love to a Type 1. My Type 1 loves getting random toys that I picked up at a swap meet or dollar store just because I love him. Tickling surprises, random kisses, and taking him to the park without him knowing where we’re going are all fun, random, and spontaneous ways of showing my Type 1 that I love him!

 

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4. Being Loud may just be an expression of Happiness Bubbling Over!!! Many times, my Type 1 son will walk into the room and randomly shout “Boom!” for fun or run up to someone to tickle them. He is so excited and naturally optimistic that he wants to share it with everyone!

I am naturally a quiet person (Type 2) and Loud noises aren’t something that I usually like. I have learned to state to my Type 1 Son that it does scare me when he does that. I state that I really enjoy being with him, but then suggest another way of addressing me. I also have certain places deemed for being loud inside the house.

I have found that sometimes when I talk to a girl friend of mine, I get overly excited about sharing something important to me and I get loud. That has often scared me that I would “get out of control” like that. But now, I realize that it’s just my Secondary Type 1 coming out in a passionate excited way. And it’s okay!

 

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5. Type 1’s like to make people Happy! It is common to find Type 1’s as the Class Clowns or making jokes to make you smile. My sweet Type 1 Son has ALWAYS made me laugh. When he was little, he had the biggest grin, I couldn’t help but laugh with him. He always knew how to get me to smile. When my Type 1 Son feels that I am upset, he will give me a hug, smile at me, and tell me that he loves me. One day, we were all watching a movie as a family. My Type 1 Son jumped into my lap and began kissing me to get me to laugh and pay attention to him. We giggled through most of the movie.

Because Type 1’s love to make people happy, they often sacrifice what they want. Sometimes my Type 1’s older siblings can take advantage of his being willing to share. It’s easier to ‘give in’ than to have contention. I sometimes do need to remind my Type 1 Son that it is okay to say what he wants, too.

 

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6. Type 1’s have Tons of Brilliant Ideas! My Type 1 Son can offer many ideas of fun things he would like to do all within seconds of each other. “Let’s play a game! Let’s watch a movie! Let’s ride bikes! Let’s go swimming! Let’s play Legos!” When Type 1’s feel like they HAVE to follow through on ALL of the ideas that they have, they can get very overwhelmed. Again, they just love the freedom to be spontaneous.

One of my sisters loves to offer different ideas after we have established plans. I used to get upset wondering why she’d change things on me! I realize now, that it is a way of trying to make everyone happy. Somebody in the group expressed a concern about the plans and she was trying to offer more ideas to make everyone happy.

 

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7.Type 1’s crave socializing! One of my Type 1 Friends is amazing at getting a group of friends together. The more, the merrier! They love being with friends and everybody IS their friend. However, it doesn’t mean that they want to hang out with everyone. After learning that Type 1’s love to be around friends, I decided to take my Type 1 son with me to a New Year’s party. He stood beside me most of the time because he didn’t know the family well. (They also had many Type 1’s in their family) I then realized that it had to be someone he knew and trusted.

Having a Secondary Type 1, as well, I need to be around a friend or two at least once a week. At my home church, I am a social butterfly. As a Homeschooler, we have a few families that I trust to hang out with once a week. Type 1’s need to have fun with friends or they literally feel like they are dying inside.

 

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8. Type 1’s do not mind being the Center of Attention! It is most often Type 1’s in the public limelight. When my Type 2 Daughter (with a Secondary 1) decided that she was going to sing a solo at church, My Type 1 Son said that he had wanted to do it, too! It’s not that Type 1’s are attention hogs, it’s that they are happy to have fun in front of others; they feel free to be themselves. We all have gifts to bring to the table.  I recently realized this Type 1 gift of theirs when I asked a Type 1 friend of mine to address our group of friends. I didn’t mind talking to them, but getting everyone’s attention is something that makes my heart race; it is not natural for me to shout. I’m thankful for their ability be themselves and have fun with it!

 

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9. Anger may be explosive and over just as fast! Some days, I will ask my Type 1 Son to do something that he doesn’t want to do. He throws a big fit like it’s the end of the world. When I first began learning that he liked fun, I would try to make him feel better by tickling or teasing him. It only made it worse and the anger kept escalating. I then changed it to, “Okay, come down when you’re ready.” He would announce “NEVER!” and yet be back in 5 minutes saying he was sorry and did as I asked. By allowing him to be angry, I’m letting him work through it. If I treated him like a terrible person for losing his temper, he might never truly learn to control it, because he’d never learn to express it. However, I do let him know kindly that he wouldn’t like it if I yelled at him.

 

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10. Media can be Superfun but doesn’t have to last all day! I have noticed that my Type 1 friends love games, movies, and music. My Type 1 Son has always loved board and card games. I began playing with these types of games with him when he begged me at 3yrs old. Once a week, we do a board game together.

He also began asking that we watch a movie EVERYDAY! That’s something that I don’t allow everyday, but we do have a Movie Night once a week with a Dance Party afterwards with the credits. I have suggested that they make movies instead and have often found my camera missing and in their possession. I like to encourage their creativity, not inactivity.

My family is very big on music. Growing up, my family had a lot of Type 1s. We would naturally use lyrics or song titles in conversations. Someone would say, “I’m so excited!” and one of us would naturally jump in with “I’m so excited! That I just can’t hide it.”

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I hope that this encourages you with your Type 1 to see the good Fun-Loving person that they really are. We don’t have to put each other down for being different. We can love each other, understand each other, and let each other become the gifts we were meant to be to each other.



Other related articles:

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 Mom with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 3: Determined Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

Dressing Your Truth

Relationships

The Child Whisperer



Dressing Your Truth

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I was sitting there in my pajamas, feeling exhausted and sick from Chronic Pain and Fatigue, and scrolling the computer for answers. The program “Dressing Your Truth” appeared in an ad on the side. At first, I rolled my eyes thinking, “Ugh. Dressing better isn’t going to make me feel better.”

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But, as I thought more about it, I began to see some logic, “If I dressed better, maybe I wouldn’t have to look sick. I hate negative attention. Dressing in my pajamas is not making me feel any better. I don’t want people coming over to see me like this even if they do want to help. Maybe it’ll at least give me something else to concentrate on.” At the time, there was a deal for $99 instead of $299, so I decided to go for it. I know, I know… I could have wasted $100! But I felt at the time that I needed to do something drastic. Now, I feel this program is worth much more to me than that.

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Dressing Your Truth is more than a materialistic fashion program. It is an “energy profiling” program. It’s matching up your colors, textures, and designs to your energy. It’s learning to appreciate and be who you are instead of trying to be like everyone else. I have always loved learning about personalities, and learning about “energy profiling” was not much different, except that it was more.

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I figured out which “energy” I was, took my time watching other DYT videos before finalizing… and then I hit the wrong button. Oh no! I’d asked for the Type 1 program! (I thought I’d get to check out each program before deciding. It was a final button there.) I tried to immediately fix my mistake, worried about it until my things came in the mail, (totally a Type 2 thing), hurried and sent the cards back, and read the book in two days. While waiting for my Type 2 cards, I watched every DYT video that I could watch; sometimes going back and forth between 4 videos at a time while researching more. (a reference to my secondary energy type)

Type 2 slower energy

water-movementWater has constant movement
with beautiful still moments to reflect.

As I began to test out trying to be a Type 2, I began to try to get up and clean, then rest. My husband came home one day shocked at how much I’d accomplished. I was thinking, “Are you kidding? Do you know how much I rested today?” But I took the compliment and tried it out the rest of the week. My husband said he thought I was getting better. I began to think, “There’s something to this energy profiling thing.”

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I was mesmerized at all the information that I was learning! I wanted to figure out everyone else around me, too! I had only one problem. I couldn’t figure out my Secondary. I thought it was probably a Type 3 because of how much I loved to accomplish things around the house…. when I was well. Or how I could be pushy with the kids to actively get done like Jillian Michaels. I tried to figure out the facial profiling, but didn’t get it. I reread the book many times and it wasn’t until I started watching the DYT Dominant/Secondary videos for what they were saying instead of what they were wearing that it began to make sense. (they just updated the program to include more videos, as well) I was not a 2/3. I am a 2/1. And the rush of emotions and realizations began to hit me hard!

Type 1 Doodles

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My father made fun of “blondes” and asked me if I was a blonde all the time. He called me, ‘naïve,’ ‘ditzy,’ and I was constantly losing things. I was asked many times mockingly, “If your head wasn’t attached would you lose it?” And all of this came flooding back with tears. I was an angry little girl all the time because I did not feel I could be me. I began looking at facial profiling again and saw my smile; the smile that stayed even when I was crying. I looked at pictures of my family and saw my mother and husband also have my smile. My mother had Type 1 energy! That was the encouraging positive outlook that I admired about her and always wanted to be. (Woah, wait a minute! I really did marry my mother!) My father was a 2/4 (both lower energies.) I was not. I pushed myself hard because I felt unworthy of love if I didn’t accomplish enough to be noticed/perfect; still looking for my father’s approval. As a Type 2/1, I was killing myself trying to be something that I wasn’t!

Others began to notice the way I dressed. I was dressing in soft, muted colors… I loved the way it all felt on my skin. My clothes no longer hurt to wear them. And I loved how elegant I felt. I bagged up everything in my closet that was not soft. I told my Type 4 mother that I was no longer wearing black and she was very distraught over me undoing what she’d taught me in that area. (Type 4’s look great in black. I’d just followed what I was taught.)  My clothes no longer hurt to wear.

I was excited to actually be the person I was created to be. I realized that by pushing my family the way I had been pushed, it was causing me anxiety and stress. I purchased the Child Whisperer and began to learn about each of my kids and how I could allow them the freedom that I was allowing myself to finally experience. One main difference between learning about the personalities through other programs or books and energy profiling is that most give you positive and negative attributes. Carol Tuttle’s programs teach you how to see the positive instead of the negative in each other’s attributes. She also gives plenty of insight into what to say to encourage each other instead of shut each other down with misunderstandings. What one may see as naïve, forgetful, and ditzy, another may see it as hopeful, playful, fun, and light. If we all learned to appreciate and understand each other’s differences instead of criticize what we don’t understand, we’d have a lot less angry and stressed out people.

I feel that through the Dressing Your Truth program, I gained the encouragement I needed to look for more answers to heal, more than just emotional, and to apply those answers to get well. It’s not about fashion, it’s about being me and loving that person. It’s about allowing others to be who they were created to be and appreciating them. It’s about more love and less stress and judgment. It’s about healing.



Other Related Articles:

10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

The Child Whisperer