10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

Type 1 is my Secondary Energy Type. I realized that after Facial Profiling myself because I was so confused trying to figure it out. In the past, I had subconsciously tried NOT to be myself because I felt that it was wrong. After I realized that Type 1 was my Secondary, I thought back to my childhood to see if this type was true for me. I remember being laughed at by my dad and called “naive,” “forgetful,” and “blonde.” These were not honoring to me, so I chose to try my hardest to be different. I also began thinking the same of other Type 1’s. Now, I’m so excited to be me! Here are some more things that I’ve learned from my Type 1 Son after reading the Child Whisperer.

1.Type 1’s are High-Energy. My Type 1 son is usually found jumping off numerous things, climbing up walls, and racing around the house with a BIG smile on his face. Most people say that this is normal “boy behavior.” Honestly, my Type 4 son was NOT this way. Some people classify this as ADHD behavior, but I have learned, now, that it is an amazing way that this sweet, crazy, fun boy of mine was made. I am so grateful to see my son as “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” (Psalm 139:14) instead of another problem to deal with.

 

2.If it’s not Fun, what’s the point?!  I had been having a hard time trying to get my Type 1 to do school or chores. After learning that it just might be high energy and stopped comparing him to other kids or what I thought he should be, I began to get through to him more. Yes, I do still expect him to respect the place and time to be crazy fun, but I respect him, also for the way he is. It wasn’t just that he needed to MOVE more, it’s that he didn’t feel it was fun or even as fun as something else he could be doing.

Because I Homeschool, I was able to have a little more freedom to experiment. I started finding ways to make school fun; I would have him take a break when he felt frustrated and do something else: “Finish this line” or “Finish this page and you can…” climb up the wall, dance in a circle, give a high five, or make a silly face. Within the first couple of weeks of doing this, my son began to cling to me. I realized, that he felt understood by me and it made me happy and sad at the same time. He didn’t feel understood by anybody else. He also began to recite more of what he had learned in school with me and I was shocked.

Then I put up a list of “Making Chores Fun” around the house. I began teaching the older kids in the house how to get my Type 1 to do chores with them. I changed our bedtime routine to race each other up the stairs before the tickle monster came. Before the Child Whisperer, my Type 1 and Type 4 sons clashed constantly. Now, they are understanding each other better, and MOST of the time allowing each other to be who they are. I occasionally still take them aside to remind them that they are different and that’s okay.

 

3.Type 1’s are Random.  For Type 1’s it’s very easy to become distracted. I have often laughed at myself and others for forgetting things. I have realized that sometimes, it just goes with being Type 1 and to laugh about it. Other times, I realize that Type 1’s need and crave spontaneous behavior and randomness. Strict schedules are helpful, but can be too restrictive.

We have a set time for school in the morning. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to try and get my Type 1 to focus. I’ve realized that sometimes it’s not about making it fun, but changing it up a bit. Just switching to a different book when overwhelmed can be a big relief. Other times, I use what is distracting my Type 1 son to focus. “When you finish this line, you can play with your doll” “…..put your head inside your shirt.” “….sing that song you want to sing.” whatever he is getting distracted by in the moment.

Also, Surprises are the best way of showing love to a Type 1. My Type 1 loves getting random toys that I picked up at a swap meet or dollar store just because I love him. Tickling surprises, random kisses, and taking him to the park without him knowing where we’re going are all fun, random, and spontaneous ways of showing my Type 1 that I love him!

 

4. Being Loud may just be an expression of Happiness Bubbling Over!!! Many times, my Type 1 son will walk into the room and randomly shout “Boom!” for fun or run up to someone to tickle them. He is so excited and naturally optimistic that he wants to share it with everyone!

I am naturally a quiet person (Type 2) and Loud noises aren’t something that I usually like. I have learned to state to my Type 1 Son that it does scare me when he does that. I state that I really enjoy being with him, but then suggest another way of addressing me. I also have certain places deemed for being loud inside the house.

I have found that sometimes when I talk to a girl friend of mine, I get overly excited about sharing something important to me and I get loud. That has often scared me that I would “get out of control” like that. But now, I realize that it’s just my Secondary Type 1 coming out in a passionate excited way. And it’s okay!

 

5. Type 1’s like to make people Happy! It is common to find Type 1’s as the Class Clowns or making jokes to make you smile. My sweet Type 1 Son has ALWAYS made me laugh. When he was little, he had the biggest grin, I couldn’t help but laugh with him. He always knew how to get me to smile. When my Type 1 Son feels that I am upset, he will give me a hug, smile at me, and tell me that he loves me. One day, we were all watching a movie as a family. My Type 1 Son jumped into my lap and began kissing me to get me to laugh and pay attention to him. We giggled through most of the movie.

Because Type 1’s love to make people happy, they often sacrifice what they want. Sometimes my Type 1’s older siblings can take advantage of his being willing to share. It’s easier to ‘give in’ than to have contention. I sometimes do need to remind my Type 1 Son that it is okay to say what he wants, too.

 

6. Type 1’s have Tons of Brilliant Ideas! My Type 1 Son can offer many ideas of fun things he would like to do all within seconds of each other. “Let’s play a game! Let’s watch a movie! Let’s ride bikes! Let’s go swimming! Let’s play Legos!” When Type 1’s feel like they HAVE to follow through on ALL of the ideas that they have, they can get very overwhelmed. Again, they just love the freedom to be spontaneous.

One of my sisters loves to offer different ideas after we have established plans. I used to get upset wondering why she’d change things on me! I realize now, that it is a way of trying to make everyone happy. Somebody in the group expressed a concern about the plans and she was trying to offer more ideas to make everyone happy.

 

7.Type 1’s crave socializing! One of my Type 1 Friends is amazing at getting a group of friends together. The more, the merrier! They love being with friends and everybody IS their friend. However, it doesn’t mean that they want to hang out with everyone. After learning that Type 1’s love to be around friends, I decided to take my Type 1 son with me to a New Year’s party. He stood beside me most of the time because he didn’t know the family well. (They also had many Type 1’s in their family) I then realized that it had to be someone he knew and trusted.

Having a Secondary Type 1, as well, I need to be around a friend or two at least once a week. At my home church, I am a social butterfly. As a Homeschooler, we have a few families that I trust to hang out with once a week. Type 1’s need to have fun with friends or they literally feel like they are dying inside.

 

8. Type 1’s do not mind being the Center of Attention! It is most often Type 1’s in the public limelight. When my Type 2 Daughter (with a Secondary 1) decided that she was going to sing a solo at church, My Type 1 Son said that he had wanted to do it, too! It’s not that Type 1’s are attention hogs, it’s that they are happy to have fun in front of others; they feel free to be themselves. We all have gifts to bring to the table.  I recently realized this Type 1 gift of theirs when I asked a Type 1 friend of mine to address our group of friends. I didn’t mind talking to them, but getting everyone’s attention is something that makes my heart race; it is not natural for me to shout. I’m thankful for their ability be themselves and have fun with it!

 

9. Anger may be explosive and over just as fast! Some days, I will ask my Type 1 Son to do something that he doesn’t want to do. He throws a big fit like it’s the end of the world. When I first began learning that he liked fun, I would try to make him feel better by tickling or teasing him. It only made it worse and the anger kept escalating. I then changed it to, “Okay, come down when you’re ready.” He would announce “NEVER!” and yet be back in 5 minutes saying he was sorry and did as I asked. By allowing him to be angry, I’m letting him work through it. If I treated him like a terrible person for losing his temper, he might never truly learn to control it, because he’d never learn to express it. However, I do let him know kindly that he wouldn’t like it if I yelled at him.

 

10. Media can be Superfun but doesn’t have to last all day! I have noticed that my Type 1 friends love games, movies, and music. My Type 1 Son has always loved board and card games. I began playing with these types of games with him when he begged me at 3yrs old. Once a week, we do a board game together.

He also began asking that we watch a movie EVERYDAY! That’s something that I don’t allow everyday, but we do have a Movie Night once a week with a Dance Party afterwards with the credits. I have suggested that they make movies instead and have often found my camera missing and in their possession. I like to encourage their creativity, not inactivity.

My family is very big on music. Growing up, my family had a lot of Type 1s. We would naturally use lyrics or song titles in conversations. Someone would say, “I’m so excited!” and one of us would naturally jump in with “I’m so excited! That I just can’t hide it.”

I hope that this encourages you with your Type 1 to see the good Fun-Loving person that they really are. We don’t have to put each other down for being different. We can love each other, understand each other, and let each other become the gifts we were meant to be to each other.

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10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 Mom with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 3: Determined Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

Dressing Your Truth

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The Child Whisperer

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Playing with Dye: Type 2

When I first began the Dressing Your Truth program, I bagged up all of my clothes that did not fit the texture, color, or design to try the program challenge for 30 days. I had about 4 garbage bags full that I put in the garage. I was convinced of how much better I felt in Type 2 clothes after the first couple of days, but never went back after a week. Since then, I have learned so much more. The colors on my card didn’t have to match exactly, but needed to blend with my card. So, I went back through the clothes to try matching again. Most of them, I did not like anymore because I had truly not been living true to my Type 2. Some of them, I pulled back out because they were my favorites that I didn’t want to get rid of. Most of them, I prepped for selling, so I could purchase more things that matched my style. I feel that DYT gave me permission to not only be me, but get rid of the things that weren’t.

I found a side tab on the program that suggested Dyeing Clothes and gave instructions. After researching exactly how I wanted to dye my clothes for about 2 months (completely true to my Type 2) I set forth to Dye the clothes that I didn’t want to get rid of, but just needed tinted gray. I figured that I didn’t have anything to lose, since I didn’t like the clothes completely anyway. I began to REALLY love some of the clothes that came out tinted more gray. Some of them didn’t turn out well and I took it as a learning process. I loved dyeing my clothes so much, that I began buying a bottle of dye every two weeks to try something new. I even began dying my underwear and socks gray! I LOVE them!!!

Next, I asked my Type 2 Daughter if she wanted to join me. She was excited at first and even began to take over and do it herself. There was one shirt in particular, though, that she did not want to get rid of even though it was black. I asked her if I could play with it to see if I could get it a better color. The decal on the and the stitching front cannot be dyed. She agreed and I began to bleach it. It took a few times to get it a light color, but it was a Type 3 color every time.

Finally, with her permission, I decided to add grey dye to it to make it more her color. And it turned out Great!!! She loves this shirt, now. I am not worried that the design was more of a Type 1 color, but that it’s a learning experience for both of us to learn what we like and why and what we can change if we want to. Dressing Your Truth has been such a fun experience to learn what we truly like, to not be afraid to get what we like, and to have fun with it!

Personally, I use the hot water in my bathtub. (3 yards of material go in the bin my a time.) I use a little bit of dye unless I know for sure that I want more. I prefer the liquid dye because the granules of the other may not blend with the water and stand out on your clothing. I add in vinegar to stretchy material to make sure that the color stays. After I put the color in the water, mix it well, I put the fabric in, make sure all the fabric is covered and stir well especially in the first 5 minutes. Then I let it sit for half an hour while stirring every 5 minutes. That way there is no tie dye effect and it is an even cover. Then I rinse it with cold water. If it looks great, I then put it into the cold water gentle cycle and dry it directly afterwards. Remember that wet fabric always looks darker than actual color. Also, different materials dye differently. The lace on a shirt usually dyes darker.

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The Color Code

After a friend of mine learned that I love figuring out what makes people tick, she suggested, “The Color Code” by Taylor Hartman. So, I have been reading another person’s take on personalities. I love how Taylor Harman talked about personalities being ingrained in us from the very beginning. He says, “Ask any woman who has given birth to two or more children and she will attest to the fact that while still in the womb her children showed marked differences in their behavior.”

Taylor chooses to categorize the personalities into 4 color categories. He highlights how each of them are portrayed, as well as, their specific wants and needs.

RED = Power-hungry, Productive, Leaders

BLUE = Altruistic, Intimate, Strong Moral Conscience

WHITE = Peace, Quiet Strength, Independent, Private

YELLOW = Fun, Popular, Active

He gives a Personality Profile in the very beginning of the book to help you figure how which color you are. Later Hartman goes into specifics of each color and suggests that you learn each color to understand others, as well as, yourself.

Some specifics that Taylor suggests are: Answering the profiling questions from your earliest recollections of how you were as a child, asking others for their feedback, and to be honest. He also suggests that it may be difficult in some situations to identify your Dominant Personalty because you were 1) reared in a strong dominating family, 2) you may have unresolved or untreated sexual abuse, 3) you may have theological or cultural biases, or 4) are an individual that may have been born with a closely blended personality: the Dominant and Secondary personality are so close it’s hard to tell which it is.

I had a really difficult time with a couple of people that I thought were “REDS,” but were actually a “WHITE”/”YELLOW” mix with either one being Dominant or Secondary. Where instead of it being a “Power-hungry” type of personality, It was actually someone who was Fun and Active with an Independent and Private side that looked like a “RED” together. The difference is in their actual meaning behind the action, different wants, and different needs.

He establishes strengths, weaknesses, and connections of each type throughout the rest of the book. He ends with the hope that we will establish a “Rainbow Connection” by understanding each other, as well as, ourselves: becoming the best “you” that you can be. It has been enlightening learning more about personalities more deeply from another perspective.

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Other books of the same topic by Taylor Hartman Ph.D. are:

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Life With Fred

This morning, the kids were not showing ANY motivation to do school or chores. I try to let the older kids decide when they are going to do what chores and school they wish as long as they are doing SOMETHING I ask them to do (with the exception of breaks in between sets of chores.) This morning, it just wasn’t happening. So, it was time for a little coaxing. “Okay, guys, we need to get some things done… and school is most important. Who would like me to help them first?” I hear the whines begin, “No, NOT school….” So, I reply, “Who would like me to read “Life with Fred” with them?” And the mood completely changed. I’m not kidding! One of the children raised her hand jumping up and down, “Oooh, me!” and the other sunk down, “Aww, man!” because he wasn’t first. I just started “Life with Fred” the last couple of weeks. One could point out that it’s just a new thing and that’s why the kids are excited about it. I had taken all of this into consideration when picking a curriculum.

Number one: I wanted a curriculum that could help someone with math anxiety feel at ease. I asked around on my board of homeschooling moms. Many had recommended Life with Fred.

Number two: I consulted my friends that homeschool their kids. One of them had Life with Fred and was excited to share it with me. I read over a couple of chapters and I was impressed with how it included different types of math (geometry, algebra, addition, time, and measurement) all in one cute little story that held your attention… and made you wonder what happened next.

Number three: I wanted to know where my oldest would start if he were having a hard time with math and hadn’t learned the algebra part from the beginning that another child would learn. Did they start from the beginning? How many of these cute little books would I need to purchase to catch my son up? The answer is that they would start back a couple of books. (However, I did purchase the ones prior and he likes reading them on his own.)

Number four: I wondered if it would capture their interest and for how long. Now these books go all the way through high school, so I wanted to make sure that I would use these books for ALL the kids and not just buy them and have to switch to something else later. While visiting my friend, I started talking to her and noticed her daughter reading a Life with Fred book for fun! I looked a little confused and motioned to her. My friend said, “Yeah, she likes to read.” Yeah, but a Math Curriculum book?! That sold it right there for me. I want my kids to have fun; to be excited to learn. That’s when they will learn the most!

Before I started the curriculum, I wanted to try it out…. So, during a moment when I needed to calm down before addressing a problem, I grabbed a Life with Fred Apples and started reading. I thought that it was interesting and wanted to read more, but I realized that I didn’t want to read all the story before I read it with my 1st grader. Later on, I chose a different book and found myself resting after dishes and picking it up to read more of the story and trying to solve the answers fast in my head. After trying it out the last couple of weeks with my children, I realized that we’re all having a LOT of fun learning math and other things added into it with the story. I love it! They love it! It’s perfect. So, at the risk of sounding like a commercial, I would like to quote my oldest son who has math anxiety, but solved the practice sections without any…

“This is so fun! I love how the stories talk about animals and other stuff, too.”