Tag Archive | understand

The Child Whisperer

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My discovery of the Dressing Your Truth program was amazing in my life! After working on that for a few months, I realized that I needed to attack the stress area of my life… with my kids. I’d already been looking for a new parenting book and had run across The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle. It seemed a bit pricey, though, so I prayed about it, searched for other answers, and was lead right back to it. I finally looked at the comments of others who had bought it. Everything seemed good about it, so I thought, “What have I got to lose?” I’m so very grateful that I did. The Child Whisperer went way more in depth than the Dressing Your Truth program! This was such a validation of how I had acted as a child and why I took things so hard! I got this book to be a better parent, but it was also healing for me. I don’t care if you have kids or not, this book is for you!

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Now, yes, I initially got this book because I was clashing with my children… especially one child in particular: my head-strong oldest. I already had done the Dressing Your Truth program and had understood what my children’s Dominant Types were…. I have one of each Type. I just didn’t know that I could parent them according to their Type of Energy/Personality.

My oldest is a Type 4; the Type of my Mother and my Husband. I was easily angered by Type 4’s because I felt controlled. I began reading The Child Whisperer book in the Type 4 chapter and took an entire month just to read, learn, and apply what I had learned. My son and I were no longer clashing every day about everything like we had done previously, and I was shocked at the results. Honestly, some of the things that I had changed, I knew my son had tried to talk to me about before, but I didn’t understand the necessity. He asked for privacy, but he had to share a room with his younger Type 1 brother. He would get upset when I pointed out what he’d done wrong in front of the whole family. I would discipline him being critical of his siblings. I learned that I could address these issues in a better way. I learned that the things that I thought were wrong about  my children can be a gift. I have been reading and applying this book with each of my children and learning to understand them, love them, encourage, and allow them to be the gifts that God designed them to be instead of trying to control them.

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When you don’t have what you NEED, you may feel that you are unloved and misunderstood. I have seen way too many people act out because of feeling this way. I have now come to the conclusion that EVERYONE NEEDS:

  1. To be LOVED- I have really enjoyed the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman that helped me to understand the different ways that we all feel, express, and NEED to be loved. I used to get upset that one of my children was constantly seeking attention in a bad way. I now realize that she was seeking to be loved in her way.
  2. To be UNDERSTOOD-This book: The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle has helped me to understand myself, my children, my extended family, and many others around me. I had been so judgmental thinking that there was only one way to be. I’m so grateful to be able to understand others which makes it easier to love them.
  3. To be DISCIPLINED– I used to have the quote on my wall as a teenager, “If you don’t discipline yourself, others will discipline you.” While I enjoyed The Child Whisperer book and I need to discipline my children less, now, I really enjoyed the books by Dr. Kevin Leman on Positive Parenting. However, without understanding how the person takes things or why, it will be less effective.




Other Articles like this one:

10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 Mom with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 3: Determined Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

Dressing Your Truth

Parenting

Personalities


Dressing Your Truth

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I was sitting there in my pajamas, feeling exhausted and sick from Chronic Pain and Fatigue, and scrolling the computer for answers. The program “Dressing Your Truth” appeared in an ad on the side. At first, I rolled my eyes thinking, “Ugh. Dressing better isn’t going to make me feel better.”

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But, as I thought more about it, I began to see some logic, “If I dressed better, maybe I wouldn’t have to look sick. I hate negative attention. Dressing in my pajamas is not making me feel any better. I don’t want people coming over to see me like this even if they do want to help. Maybe it’ll at least give me something else to concentrate on.” At the time, there was a deal for $99 instead of $299, so I decided to go for it. I know, I know… I could have wasted $100! But I felt at the time that I needed to do something drastic. Now, I feel this program is worth much more to me than that.

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Dressing Your Truth is more than a materialistic fashion program. It is an “energy profiling” program. It’s matching up your colors, textures, and designs to your energy. It’s learning to appreciate and be who you are instead of trying to be like everyone else. I have always loved learning about personalities, and learning about “energy profiling” was not much different, except that it was more.

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I figured out which “energy” I was, took my time watching other DYT videos before finalizing… and then I hit the wrong button. Oh no! I’d asked for the Type 1 program! (I thought I’d get to check out each program before deciding. It was a final button there.) I tried to immediately fix my mistake, worried about it until my things came in the mail, (totally a Type 2 thing), hurried and sent the cards back, and read the book in two days. While waiting for my Type 2 cards, I watched every DYT video that I could watch; sometimes going back and forth between 4 videos at a time while researching more. (a reference to my secondary energy type)

Type 2 slower energy

water-movementWater has constant movement
with beautiful still moments to reflect.

As I began to test out trying to be a Type 2, I began to try to get up and clean, then rest. My husband came home one day shocked at how much I’d accomplished. I was thinking, “Are you kidding? Do you know how much I rested today?” But I took the compliment and tried it out the rest of the week. My husband said he thought I was getting better. I began to think, “There’s something to this energy profiling thing.”

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I was mesmerized at all the information that I was learning! I wanted to figure out everyone else around me, too! I had only one problem. I couldn’t figure out my Secondary. I thought it was probably a Type 3 because of how much I loved to accomplish things around the house…. when I was well. Or how I could be pushy with the kids to actively get done like Jillian Michaels. I tried to figure out the facial profiling, but didn’t get it. I reread the book many times and it wasn’t until I started watching the DYT Dominant/Secondary videos for what they were saying instead of what they were wearing that it began to make sense. (they just updated the program to include more videos, as well) I was not a 2/3. I am a 2/1. And the rush of emotions and realizations began to hit me hard!

Type 1 Doodles

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My father made fun of “blondes” and asked me if I was a blonde all the time. He called me, ‘naïve,’ ‘ditzy,’ and I was constantly losing things. I was asked many times mockingly, “If your head wasn’t attached would you lose it?” And all of this came flooding back with tears. I was an angry little girl all the time because I did not feel I could be me. I began looking at facial profiling again and saw my smile; the smile that stayed even when I was crying. I looked at pictures of my family and saw my mother and husband also have my smile. My mother had Type 1 energy! That was the encouraging positive outlook that I admired about her and always wanted to be. (Woah, wait a minute! I really did marry my mother!) My father was a 2/4 (both lower energies.) I was not. I pushed myself hard because I felt unworthy of love if I didn’t accomplish enough to be noticed/perfect; still looking for my father’s approval. As a Type 2/1, I was killing myself trying to be something that I wasn’t!

Others began to notice the way I dressed. I was dressing in soft, muted colors… I loved the way it all felt on my skin. My clothes no longer hurt to wear them. And I loved how elegant I felt. I bagged up everything in my closet that was not soft. I told my Type 4 mother that I was no longer wearing black and she was very distraught over me undoing what she’d taught me in that area. (Type 4’s look great in black. I’d just followed what I was taught.)  My clothes no longer hurt to wear.

I was excited to actually be the person I was created to be. I realized that by pushing my family the way I had been pushed, it was causing me anxiety and stress. I purchased the Child Whisperer and began to learn about each of my kids and how I could allow them the freedom that I was allowing myself to finally experience. One main difference between learning about the personalities through other programs or books and energy profiling is that most give you positive and negative attributes. Carol Tuttle’s programs teach you how to see the positive instead of the negative in each other’s attributes. She also gives plenty of insight into what to say to encourage each other instead of shut each other down with misunderstandings. What one may see as naïve, forgetful, and ditzy, another may see it as hopeful, playful, fun, and light. If we all learned to appreciate and understand each other’s differences instead of criticize what we don’t understand, we’d have a lot less angry and stressed out people.

I feel that through the Dressing Your Truth program, I gained the encouragement I needed to look for more answers to heal, more than just emotional, and to apply those answers to get well. It’s not about fashion, it’s about being me and loving that person. It’s about allowing others to be who they were created to be and appreciating them. It’s about more love and less stress and judgment. It’s about healing.



Other Related Articles:

10 Things I Learned from my Type 1: Fun-Loving Son

10 Things I Learned as a Type 2 with a Type 2: Sensitive Daughter

10 Things I Learned from my Type 4: Serious Son

The Child Whisperer

Pressing On

philippians3Recently, I was in extreme pain, but trying to make it through Bible Study. I was walking slower than the elderly women in front of me wondering why the heck I’d even left the house. One of the reasons that I go, isn’t just for the study of the Bible itself, but to be surrounded by those of the same faith for us to uplift and pray for each other; fellowship. And there were wonderful people there that did pray for me understanding that I WAS in extreme pain even if they didn’t understand WHY. But I just wasn’t feeling it. I could just feel pain. I also felt alone in it. Passing the bookstore in the church, a book stood out at the moment I asked the question in my head, “Why am I even here? I just want to go home.” The book simply stated, “Pressing on when you feel like turning back.” I giggled to myself that God was being funny with me again. But God didn’t stop there. He always backs His words!

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Sitting there in pain, feeling alone, and making sure I was near the back in case I needed to ask for help, I longed to make a connection with someone. I wasn’t sure how anyone could understand what I was going through even if they did have empathy, but I knew God understood. So, I tried to get out of the study what I was “supposed to” and leave it at that. I was trying not to feel sorry for myself. A woman who was not much older than I and was also having a hard time walking, came up to me and asked me if there was a story with my zebra cane. I told her a 30 second brief of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and she told me about the pain in her back causing problems with walking, as well. A friend! It’s not that I didn’t have other friends there, but she understood the pain even if she didn’t have the same starting issue as me. On my way out the door, another friend offered to make food for my family (which isn’t easy with our allergies.) I left humbled that God loved me enough to send what I needed… and that’s not all.

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I had wanted to take my children to the library afterwards, but knew there was no way I could take their hands, books, and handle the pain involved. So, I decided that it was okay to go home and try again another day. Besides, it was snowing and a little too cold to get in and out of the van a few times with the littles. A little while later, on the other side of the highway, a woman was waving at people for help in the almost white-out flurry of snow near her small pick-up truck on the side of the road. No one would stop in the freezing cold. I knew it would take me a while to get over to her, so I prayed that if it was okay for me to do so, God would make the desire for me to help her stronger. (I do hate the precautions we must take to help people these days, and do my best to protect my family, but I trust God’s judgement.) I was almost in tears at this point and excited to turn around and see what I could do. I finally pulled up behind the vehicle, though, it looked like nobody was in it at first because it was snowing so much. A couple got out of the truck cautious of me. I knew what I was supposed to do. I invited them in the van and they asked me to take them to the next gas station. The woman had the same name as my baby girl and thanked me for getting her out of the cold. The man was also thankful but cautious and protective of them both. After I dropped them off and made sure they were okay, he left me with “God Bless You.” I returned the blessing, and was so thankful that God allowed me to help someone when I was beginning to feel helpless and needy myself.

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In Pressing On to learn His Words even if I didn’t feel like it, God gave me: people who loved, prayed for, and served me, someone who understood me, and He showed me that I am valuable when I felt incapable. God will always prove himself if we Trust Him. And even though I knew that in my head, my body was failing me, and my heart was following, He was there! He loves me. He intercedes for me. He serves me. He understands me. He wants me to know that I am valuable to Him.


For more articles like this one, Check out Faith and Encouragement