About 6 months ago, I experienced Chronic Fatigue and Chronic Pain… and it has been an AMAZING JOURNEY!!!
I began, like anyone would, experiencing grief for my health. I was very emotional, I felt defeated and frustrated, and I felt a great loss. This is necessary, however, I am not one to stay hopeless. I know that there are answers out there and I know that as we seek God for these answers, He WILL provide.
I began with a Fight…
A Fight against my connective tissue disorder: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
A Fight against taking care of everyone else but me.
A Fight to take care of myself.
A Fight to want to heal and provide answers for myself and my children who also have EDS.
A Fight to be heard; I did not want to feel alone and keep the suffering to myself. A Fight to ask for help.
A Fight to Keep Positive knowing that I didn’t have to stay this way no matter what others around me kept saying.
My sister gave me a Christmas gift of a beautiful bracelet that brought me to tears. I felt understood, encouraged, and supported in that moment. It was a reminder to keep pressing on when I wore it.
The more that I convinced myself that it was okay to be honest and to talk about it to others, the more I found support and love. I did not expect that. It was hard for me, being a private person, to say that anything was wrong with me or that I needed help. I had felt so much misunderstanding from health professionals, having to argue their misinformation, that I expected more misunderstandings. That happened in the beginning as I got the “What?” looks from people and the looks from others thinking I wanted a pity party. But there were so many more that became my supports even if only in their kind encouragement and prayers.
As I began to find answers, some all at once and others slowly, I began to incorporate them. My own family was questioning me, but I just knew that when God lead me to an answer, I had to go for it. (Honestly, if they’d known how long I’d prayed about it and researched it before knowing that it was right for me, they probably would have understood a lot easier, but change is hard and scary nonetheless) I began to accept this beautiful person that God created me to be.
Last month, walking into one of my specialist’s offices, he was shocked at how different I was. He asked me if he could sign the book that I was going to write. I laughed it off, but he wanted to know all that I had been doing to heal. So, I listed the things off for him. He was amazed that I had sought out many different avenues and he encouraged me to keep going. How neat to hear from a doctor!
My husband, being a counselor, talks about the 4 different areas of our life that we need to be healthy. He likes to compare them to the legs of a chair. If one of these 4 legs is damaged, it affects all of the other legs, as well as, the ability to stand on it’s own.
I am not done searching and applying answers that I have been given, as well as, those I have not yet received. I will continue to seek them out as long as I breathe. I am an example to these children of mine who will have similar challenges because of EDS and will also have many other challenges that I may have never experienced. But I am grateful to be on this AMAZING JOURNEY! I am so amazed at how God never leaves us alone and how He always keeps His promises.
So, to others who are currently in the grieving process, Do not be afraid to fight, search, pray, accept, and love yourself enough to change. The answers ARE out there and you CAN make a difference!
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